NOTE: THE FIRST MINUTE OF THE PERFORMANCE IS MISSING. THE VIDEO BEGINS AFTER THE CHARACTER OF ANDY ENTERS PER SE RESTAURANT AND INTRODUCES MIKE O’SHEA, HIS OLDEST AND CLOSEST FRIEND, AS 6 FOOT TALL AND 240 POUNDS. THEY ARE THERE TO CELEBRATE THEIR BIRTHDAYS. IT IS NOTED THAT THIS WILL BE THEIR LAST CELEBRATION TOGETHER. BELOW IS THE MISSING STAGING AND DIALOG:
ACT 1: SCENE 1
Andy enters and stands center stage beneath a lone spotlight. He turns to stage left and gestures towards an ornate chair, stage left.
ANDY I walked in, and there he was: Mike O’Shea. My oldest and closest friend. All 6 foot, 240 pounds of him, stuffed into a blue blazer and just crushing an ornate chair in the waiting area of Per Se restaurant on Central Park South in New York City. He slugged from a goblet of red wine and got up to give me a bear hug. “What’cha drinking there, big guy?”
MIKE I think she said it was a Barolo or something. You know, one of those Goombah reds you like.
ANDY That’s when I knew I’d made a mistake. Mike and I were celebrating our birthdays, as we did every year, and the choice of the restaurant this year was mine. I knew Mike had never heard of Per Se, as he had zero interest in New York’s fine dining experiences. Massive and Irish, Mike was a meat and potatoes guy. A special occasion for him meant a steak house or a family-style Italian joint, but I knew good food, and I’d become a bit of a snob thanks to a generous expense account in a previous career. I’d been dying to go to Per Se since it opened, which was after I’d entered the decidedly non-expense account career of being a professor and a writer. Another birthday together with Mike seemed like a good opportunity to splurge. I ran it by Mike.
MIKE Whatever you want, And. Whatever you want.
ANDY That was Mike. As gracious a person as I’d ever met. Mike’s graciousness would be on full display that evening at Per Se, and he would eventually redeem my dumb idea of going there in the first place for our birthdays. Unfortunately, it would be the last celebration for me and Mike O’Shea.
ACT 1: SCENE 2 INT.
An elaborately decorated dining table for two is stage right. The views beyond the dining table are of the tree line of Central Park and the facades along Central Park South. Andy walks to the table and has a seat.
ANDY That funny feeling I had when I first walked in got discernably worse after being seated in the fancy dining room and checking out the menu. The prix fixe was way more than I had thought, and there were all these supplements with each course. The wine list was insulting. I tried to remain cool. “A little something bubbly to start?” I asked Mike.
MIKE Sure thing, And.
ANDY Growing up, I was known to everyone as Andy; in my adult life, I had matured into Andrew. But Mike has always called me “And.” It’s as if he needed to have a name for me that belonged to only him. I loved that and felt special every time Mike called my name because he was such a special guy and being his oldest and closest friend meant a lot to me. Even more than I imagined. I called over the sommelier and subtly mentioned that we’d love a couple glasses of sparkling wine that might qualify as a hidden gem. He acted like he knew what I meant, though when the astronomical and itemized bill came later, one that Mike and I fought over and eventually agreed to split…
THE RECORDING OF THE PLAY BEGINS HERE.